Jezus chat room

I think I just met my Anima (???)

2020.01.24 15:18 Tyanuh I think I just met my Anima (???)

I just had one of the probably most meaningful experiences of my life and I would love to hear your views on it.
2 months ago I did a retreat that got me really into my own body and connected with my feelings and emotions. I was like a walking feeling-radar and I felt like I perceived the world through my feeling-body, if that makes sense.
One of the things we did a few times was this Osho kundalini meditation where for 15 minutes you let yourself shake and then for the next 15 minutes you dance to music. The first thing I noticed about this when I did it the first time is that it gets me really connected with the presence of my (feeling)body.
That dancing in the last few days of the retreat got very physical and visceral. Where in the beginning of the retreat I had still been concerned with how my dancing looked i.e. how beautiful it was as if I were in a club trying to advertise myself, in the last few days I was just dancing and moving on the energy in my body. Fuck looking beautiful. I felt like every move I made, or felt the urge to make, meant something. And I started to have these symbolic visions while dancing. At some point had this vision-feeling of being this great tree that had it's roots into the earth and it was sucking in all this live energy into itself from the earth to then spewing it onto everyone else I was there with, as a kind of 'tree of life' act or desire. At another time I had this vision-feeling of feeling like this great oriental warrior standing strongly in squat pose and I had this tube of nectar in my body that ran from from genital area all the way to my neck and these small people would come to me to get the nectar and I would let them, while remaining very strong.
And I would express those feeling-visions in my dance by the way I held my body and moved. In a sense actually embodying that which I felt as a kind of symbolic vision.
Now, I had read Jung about a year ago, but nothing like this had ever happened to me, it was quite novel, and the retreat itself in no way made any references to this kind of stuff at all so I wasn't be massaged to get visions or anything. The retreat itself was mostly about getting into contact with your (repressed) feelings and emotions let's say.
Anyway, this all felt VERY satisfying. As if some hidden aspect of my psyche was being discovered.
Then at the last time we did this Osho kundalini meditation I was dancing again and suddenly this big cobra appeared in front of me - huge, like 4 meters in height at least - and she had a female face. She was dancing with me. And while we danced with each other, she started bitingly attacking me while I was evading her by moving to the sides while dancing. But it wasn't like she was attacking me to kill. It was like she was attacking me to give me a message. And while I was scared of her and on guard, I was at the same time mesmerized by her and very strongly drawn to her. As if I needed her very deeply. Or needed something from her. I felt even in some sense prepared to let her attack me and kill me if only that meant I would get from her what I - in some sense - desperately wanted. Was it sex? (she moved very sensually). Was it love? Maybe, but a dangerous kind of love. An unsafe kind of love. I did not know exactly what it was but we kept dancing for minutes and then the music stopped and she was gone. Before she was gone I asked her "what do you want. What are you here to tell me? What are you guarding?" But no answer.
This all felt very meaningful. I felt like I had actually encountered an entity. And the fact that she was female seemed very important. As was the fact that she was a snake, an imposing cobra, to be precise.
Every since that retreat she had been in my mind. And about a month later I met her again while doing the same dance to the same music in my living room. And again the same dynamic.
Afterwards, I realized that I felt very strongly that her femaleness and way of being were archetypically representative of both my mother and my ex girlfriend who I was (am) still in contact with. Needing something from them desperately which they are the guardians of but at the same time always on the watch for the danger, the unpredictableness of the snakebite, of the pain.
I've since told this (to some people very weird and 'out there') story to some people, a testament that it was still in my mind. But I didn't feel like I had gotten anything out of it except for the opening up to this dimension in myself and being able to have met this being at all. I could not figure out any message or lesson from it (her).
Then today I had taken a microdose of psylocibin mushrooms (0.2grams. Which means I am not tripping in the slightest, yet I feel somewhat more connected to myself and existence but in such small amounts that you could very easily convince me that it was a placebo if you had administered it to me) and I was sitting with myself, meditating, looking at myself in the mirror and trying to give myself love. While I was focusing on my body to get closer to my felt-sense of being, I felt the urge to get up try to do that via dancing again. So I started moving, quietly without music, and after a few moments there she was, the female cobra. As big and alive as she had always been. And with the realization of her felt representation of my mother and ex girlfriend. I started to feel that this was in a way how I was relating to all women I encounter. That there is something about them that I desperately need or want or desire, but that it always comes paired with danger and guardedness for being bitten.
And then a girl popped into into my head that I had met last week in a workshop. We at some point sat next to each other after not have exchanged any words for 2 days in the group, and I again felt a reluctance to speak with her. So I looked at her, and when she looked at me, I mustered the nerve to say the most honest thing I could at that moment and I asked her "Is there something going on between us?" And after having both focused on the energy between us, she agreed, although we could both not pinpoint what it was exactly, although we both agreed that It felt both very good but also a little dangerous. Like a bungee jump would feel. That afternoon we hugged, and we could not let go for what was probably a good 3 minutes. Which is a long time for an actual hug if you think about it.
I've been chatting with her on whatsapp for the past week and we will meet up next week to explore what the hell this thing between us actually is.
Anyway, back to the cobra I was just dancing with, feeling that she represented something about how I felt towards all women I encountered. And I realized she might be the negative aspect of my anima.
After that I started to project the 'danger' I had felt with this girl last week as also an aspect of the danger of that cobra. And when I did that, it felt absolutely completely off. Wrong. Inaccurate in every sense.
Here was this aspect of this human being, this rather beautiful girl, that in no way fit onto the archetype that was standing before me.
And when I realized that (and I am getting goosebumps typing this out). Something happened. The cobra became smaller. Until she had lost everything that was threatening about it. It seemed kind of hilarious to me that this is what I had been afraid off, but at the same time so hopelessly drawn to. A little fucking snake. As if I had to realize or encounter another aspect in this girl that would make me realize that the cobra was not the whole picture... I guess?
At this point I decided to turn on the music that I knew so well from the retreat and continue dancing to that.
My mind gave me a sort of heads-up in a way that the cobra would change into something different (and this all happened in a manner of seconds) so I was prepared for something to come. But the cobra did not change. It remained. And what appeared in front of me, within a short few moments, was this woman with piercing eyes, like the famous National Geographic fotograph of that child. She looked somewhat middle eastern (I am from the Netherlands) although I could not clearly see her face because it was partly veiled in this beautifully white radiant, almost godly fabric.
And as soon as that face appeared, she receded a ways back, standing next to the cobra, in full body, and I realized; that cobra was her guardian. Her Pet(!), in some sense. And next to this cobra was this absolutely magnificently radiant woman, dressed all in white, mysteriously veiled, with radiant pieces of cloth wavering all about, as if in the wind, with a presence that… Fucking hell…
I asked myself, but obviously with her knowing (as if anything could ever escape her) "who are you?"
Are you my mother…? No you're not.
Are you my ex girlfriend…? No, you're not.
Are you the girl from last week…? No, you're not.
And then a second or two it was quiet, and then the word grandmother appeared.
And I was like, "grandmother?" with both of my grandmothers flashing before my eyes: No.
Are you the grandmother? No. You don't look anything like a grandmother any way.
And then I realized… She was the Grand-Mother. The Grand fucking mother. The omega.
And I went down to my knees and I bowed to her. There was absolutely nothing about myself that I could ever even dream of hiding from her. And there was nothing that she didn't accept in me.
She was…. Man… To say she was incredibly beautiful would be like calling the Mona Lisa a cute little drawing.
I felt absolutely exposed in the most satisfying way possible. And my first instinct was indeed to go on my knees and worship her.
And then she told to "get up", in a way that signified that what I was doing in that moment wasn't necessary.
So I got up. And as I was standing, the wordless question arose that said as much as "what am I to do with you? In which box can I place you?" And the feeling of that question become loaded with examples: should I place you in the 'Mother' box? Should I place you in the 'lover' box?
And as soon as this sense of not knowing what to 'do' with her arose, she knew I had asked it, for again, there was nothing to hide from her, and as soon as I had felt that question burning, she opened her robe and showed me her absolutely, perfect beautiful naked body with her robe with a 1000 cloth pieces wavering in the wind at her back and her body and tits perked out, as an answer to that question. She was fucking powerful beyond belief. And I could have taken her if I wanted to, but only because she would let me, because it would be one of the reasons (but not the reason) I had been created as a man in the first place. And that was all I needed to know. I felt no need to take her. Although I felt a strong need to be in her presence.
Her body was other-worldy beautiful and desirable, and with her showing of it she answered in an instant the question I had posed.
"I am all. I am that which has created you, which nurtures you, which protects you, which gives you strength, which roots for you, and I am that which you can reflect your own manliness into if you so, or when, you desire. I am what you need. And I want you to be what I need." - She told me as I was still moving my body to the music in the background.
My whole body filled with this enormously satisfying energy, and she told me to finally be a full man in the face of womanhood and the world at large. To be strong, to be manly, to also be gentle, and supple and soft and caring and feminine. To be a man, but even more important to be a human being, in the face of the world, in the face of females in the face of other males. That it would be no use to hide either my masculinity or my femininity for she sees anyway, she knows. And all of this she was telling me from a place of other-worldy support and love to be my absolute self. My absolute real self. That there would be nothing more manly, more humanly to do than that, to show my strength and my weakness. And with the incredible wisdom and fiercety and love and support with which she said it, I knew I was in the right hands to actually be that person. To be in the right hands for the first time in my life.
As I am typing this I have been crying on and off, and I still feel her presence with me, she is here with me. As a new example of all that is feminine and wants to draw out the masculine (the true masculine) at the same time. And… I am home…
And even now, I feel her. She doesn't want me to do anything. Not worship her, not show my attractiveness or manliness to her. She wants nothing except for me to be as I was intended to be.
This radiant white clothed being that you do not want to fuck with but has absolute support in every aspect of me being human.
God I hope she'll remains here…
EDIT: Jezus christ... 10 minutes after writing this my mother who I haven't seen in about a year and haven't spoken to in a few months sends me a message...

EDIT2: Grammar and typos.
submitted by Tyanuh to Jung [link] [comments]

2012.08.21 21:24 lemonfreedom How science saved the day.

I was walking home from science camp the other day when I decided to pick up something to eat,. Living in a small town in the bible belt there weren't many places to chose from, Chick-fil-a was a popular lunch destination, but my atheist conscience knew better than to give my hard earned money to a bunch of homophobe fundies. For whatever reason I felt like a subway sandwich and so that's where I went.
The first thing I noticed was the unusually long line, normally only a few people long, it was today wrapped all the way to the door. That was when I realized that it was 12:00 noon on a Sunday. These were christians out in full force after their weekly appeasement ritual to their magicskyfairy. After waiting approximately half an hour I had finally gotten my food and was about to fill mp cup with mountain dew when I heard the family that was in front of me in line praying quite loudly in front of the whole restaurant. I noticed that one of the children, about 5 years old, reluctant to participate. When his mother saw this she gave him a firm slap across the cheek. As I walked past his table I leaned over and whispered to him, "It's OK I don't believe either," Unfortunately the mom heard me and said "what on God's bountiful earth do you mean you don't believe?" This was when I politely informed her that I was an atheist and that perhaps she should give her son there a little thinking room. She of course was having none of my reason and took her son in her hands and said, "LET ME SHOW YOU THE POWER OF JESUS!" I sat there for about 20 seconds in awe of her stupidity as she yelled incoherent prayers and bible verses at her son. I was about to turn around and leave when the boy began shaking uncontrollably. "YES, YES TOMMY, SUBMIT TO JESUS! LET GOD CONTROLL YOUR BODY AND SHOW THIS HEATHEN THE TRUE MASTER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH," Luckily I knew from science camp that this boy was suffering from a seizure, not phony Jezus power. Using my quick thinking logic skills I took the boy from his clearly insane mother and ran across the street to the Sagan memorial planetarium. When I got inside I was greeted by none other than Nail deGrasse Tyson. Apparently his plane from Sweden had been rerouted and he was making a surprise visit to the planetarium. Wasting no time for chit-chat I said, "Neil do you know anything about seizures?" and I handed him the poor logic depraved child. Using his immense knowledge of the nervous system he was able to calm the boy's seizure with nothing but his bear hands. what he then said o me will remain with me for the rest of my life, "Young scientist, I grow old, I want you to follow in my footsteps of logic and reason just as I followed in Sagan's. You are to be the Chosen one to star in the 3rd season of Cosmos: a personal voyage. This is no easy task, do you accept?" "Yes Dr. Tyson, I do," I said, and just like that he was gone.
The child then turned to me and said "WOW, I wanna be an atheist just like you," My last words to him were, "then all you need to do is stay reasonable, stay logical, and most importantly, stay brave."
submitted by lemonfreedom to magicskyfairy [link] [comments]

2012.04.01 04:31 Astuka I'm fucking jesus

[8:04 PM] guest-1037683 changed nickname to jesus
[8:05 PM] utente: Hello, Sir.
[8:05 PM] factionite: started a YouTube-video: Annoying Orange TV Show!!! - DANEBOEVLOG
[8:05 PM] jesus: started a YouTube-video: donkey porn
[8:05 PM] utente: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:05 PM] factionite: That was like mr.douchbag 2.0
[8:05 PM] factionite: and that was werid
[8:06 PM] factionite: I'm an athiest
[8:06 PM] utente: GOD LOVES YOU
[8:06 PM] utente: JESUS LOVES YOU
[8:06 PM] utente: <3
[8:06 PM] jesus: started a YouTube-video: Big Boobs Tits Breasts Hot Sexy Girl Strip Tease Babe Nude Naked Booty Busty Ass
[8:06 PM] factionite: How much does Jesus love you?
[8:06 PM] factionite: streches arms and looks mopey
[8:06 PM] factionite: This much
[8:06 PM] factionite: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:06 PM] jesus: no i hate you
[8:07 PM] jesus: now make me a sandwich
[8:07 PM] factionite: How are you even alive still?
[8:07 PM] jesus: i dont know
[8:07 PM] jesus: i only remember being really fucking high
[8:07 PM] factionite: You're a preacher
[8:07 PM] factionite: god damnit
[8:08 PM] factionite: Oh boy
[8:08 PM] factionite: account deleted from roblox
[8:08 PM] factionite: again
[8:08 PM] jesus: me and joseph were smoking the good stuff from our dealer julius
[8:08 PM] jesus: then all of a sudden this douchebag comes and knocks me out
[8:08 PM] factionite: banned for saying "spam is for your e-mail silly"
[8:08 PM] jesus: and that was it
[8:08 PM] guest-1037923 entered the room.
[8:08 PM] jesus: then again there were these huge ass rabbits jumping around
[8:09 PM] jesus: so the accuracy of that claim is not that great
[8:09 PM] guest-1037923 changed nickname to froststare
[8:09 PM] factionite: people says your blood cures lepuracy
[8:09 PM] froststare left the room.
[8:09 PM] factionite: is that true?
[8:09 PM] jesus: started a YouTube-video: donkey porn
[8:09 PM] utente: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:10 PM] jesus: you fucking asshole
[8:10 PM] factionite: Well
[8:10 PM] factionite: Time to make a new account on my fire
[8:10 PM] factionite: with no Ip
[8:10 PM] utente: i'm pretty sure i'm not an anus, sir
[8:10 PM] factionite: trollface.jpg
[8:10 PM] jesus: all i want to do is publicly masturbate to the sound of donkeys making love and you come
[8:11 PM] utente: yes
[8:11 PM] factionite: Go do that somewhere else
[8:11 PM] utente: no
[8:11 PM] jesus: i can send you straight to hell and you seem to be completely uneffected
[8:11 PM] utente: go play donkey porn somewhere else
[8:11 PM] jesus: no fuck you
[8:11 PM] utente: ily2 <3
[8:11 PM] factionite: started a YouTube-video: The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die(dubstep remix)
[8:12 PM] factionite: ololo
[8:12 PM] jesus: started a YouTube-video: Horse giving birth - Express Lover
[8:12 PM] factionite: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:12 PM] factionite: What is your problem?
[8:12 PM] jesus: now you have something against the miracle of birth
[8:12 PM] jesus: you little fuck
[8:12 PM] jesus: you disgust me
[8:12 PM] factionite: started a YouTube-video: The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die(dubstep remix)
[8:12 PM] jesus: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:13 PM] utente: i have nothing agfainst birth
[8:13 PM] factionite: I'm 14 bro
[8:13 PM] utente: i want to be a father
[8:13 PM] factionite: but still
[8:13 PM] utente: *against
[8:13 PM] factionite: We want to see animal birth in a later day
[8:13 PM] jesus: you spelled against close to afghanistain
[8:13 PM] utente: that's not relevant
[8:14 PM] jesus: you muslim, god is the only way
[8:14 PM] jesus: i am the only way
[8:14 PM] factionite: You're a preacher
[8:14 PM] utente: i'm not muslim
[8:14 PM] factionite: learn your own history
[8:14 PM] utente: silly
[8:15 PM] jesus: no fuck you faction
[8:15 PM] jesus: everyone knows im that guy who uses the dark arts to bend stuff to my will
[8:15 PM] utente: Jesus is the nicest person i have ever met
[8:15 PM] factionite: Isn't it against gods will to curse?
[8:15 PM] factionite: or use profanity
[8:15 PM] factionite: ?
[8:15 PM] factionite: hmmmmmmmm
[8:15 PM] utente: ^
[8:16 PM] jesus: started a YouTube-video: my penis size
[8:16 PM] factionite: changed the YouTube-video's current time.
[8:16 PM] utente: hmm
[8:16 PM] factionite: Time warp
[8:16 PM] jesus: not for me
[8:16 PM] jesus: bitch
[8:16 PM] factionite: You're a preacher
[8:16 PM] factionite: and from the bible bullshit
[8:16 PM] jesus: and i dont give a fuck
[8:16 PM] factionite: and common sence
[8:16 PM] factionite: You
[8:16 PM] factionite: are
[8:16 PM] factionite: not the guys son
[8:16 PM] factionite: but you claim to be
[8:16 PM] factionite: stupid new bible says
[8:17 PM] jesus: im no ones son
[8:17 PM] jesus: im fucking jesus
This is your new chat color.
[8:17 PM] jesus: i gave birth to myself
[8:17 PM] factionite: Then how where you born?
[8:17 PM] factionite: Bullshit
[8:17 PM] factionite: Evolution happened
[8:17 PM] factionite: but you where too late
[8:17 PM] jesus: by rubbing my nipples in circles for 5 years straight
[8:17 PM] utente: that's nice
[8:17 PM] jesus: evolution can suck my dick
[8:18 PM] factionite: started a YouTube-video: Battlefield 3 Dubstep - Thunder Run
[8:18 PM] factionite: I love playing dubstep
[8:18 PM] jesus: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:18 PM] utente: evolution does not have a mouth
[8:18 PM] factionite: Kills the headphone users
[8:18 PM] jesus: well too bad
[8:18 PM] factionite: Jesus is a fail troll
[8:18 PM] factionite: now go back to joseph
[8:18 PM] jesus: if i cant watch how i can grow my penis size you cant listen to your hippity hop techno
[8:19 PM] jesus: joseph is dead
[8:19 PM] factionite: not like I want to
[8:19 PM] jesus: not everyone can be immortal
[8:19 PM] factionite: how are you still alive then?
[8:19 PM] jesus: sucks to be that bitch
[8:19 PM] factionite: no one can
[8:19 PM] jesus: because i give no fucks
[8:19 PM] factionite: unless they are made of metal
[8:19 PM] jesus: thus i am immortal
[8:19 PM] factionite: Sure
[8:19 PM] factionite: you give enough of a fuck to be talking to us
[8:19 PM] jesus: metal is made of my pubic hair
[8:19 PM] longwardenernethcrashed left the room.
[8:20 PM] guest-1038553 entered the room.
[8:20 PM] prind12 left the room.
[8:20 PM] guest-1038553 left the room.
[8:20 PM] factionite: flajdsf;lsdkj
[8:20 PM] guest-1038613 entered the room.
[8:20 PM] factionite: This is boring
[8:20 PM] guest-1038613 changed nickname to _
[8:21 PM] factionite: someone post a thread on OT to come here
[8:21 PM] _: started a YouTube-video: DREAMS OF AN AWKWARD WHITE KID (Episode 1) "F*ck you, I'm a moon"
[8:21 PM] jesus: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:21 PM] jesus: no bitch
[8:21 PM] factionite: jesus didn't get his meds today
[8:21 PM] factionite: now he's cranky
[8:21 PM] jesus: fuck you
[8:21 PM] factionite: umad?
[8:21 PM] _: so i see this chatroom has another fag
[8:22 PM] factionite: Oh yes
[8:22 PM] _: this chatroom is rarely in shape.
[8:22 PM] jesus: maybe im just a little drunk
[8:22 PM] _: if you were drunk you would have liked that video
[8:22 PM] factionite: He keeps playing wild animals giving birth
[8:22 PM] jesus: but that doesnt mean i cant rotate my weiner to do a full 1080
[8:22 PM] jesus: i am only here to deliver holy fucking vengeance
[8:23 PM] factionite: vengeance?
[8:23 PM] factionite: for who?
[8:23 PM] _: why is it we can't use uppercase characters for our nicknames?
[8:23 PM] factionite: and who is the target?
[8:23 PM] factionite: I dunno
[8:23 PM] jesus: for my vaginal cords
[8:23 PM] factionite: Tinychat mods are too much of a dumbass to know their is a shift cord
[8:23 PM] jesus: i am the only man with a vagina
[8:23 PM] jesus: because im fucking jesus
[8:24 PM] factionite: I think the doctor was mistaken
[8:24 PM] factionite: got drunk
[8:24 PM] factionite: and said you where a man
[8:24 PM] factionite: but instead you where a girl
[8:24 PM] factionite: thats why you didn't make the football team
[8:24 PM] factionite: and your voice is high
[8:24 PM] factionite: k
[8:24 PM] factionite: I feel like playing minecraft
[8:24 PM] factionite: for some odd reason
[8:25 PM] jesus: why the fuck would i join a football team when im too busy in heaven masturbating to jews
[8:25 PM] jesus: like george clooney
[8:25 PM] _: started a YouTube-video: DREAMS OF AN AWKWARD WHITE KID (Episode 1) "F*ck you, I'm a moon"
[8:25 PM] factionite: you can figure out the rest
[8:25 PM] jesus: closed the YouTube-video.
[8:25 PM] jesus: fuck this, im going to go have sex with some cows
submitted by Astuka to funny [link] [comments]